My Silent Tears.

So the moment you all have been waiting for I shed tears. I did NOT want to get up on Wednesday morning to go to chemotherapy. Courtney literally had to get me out of bed because as my sister she saw the pain in my face on Wednesday. So I called in my chemo got into the shower and I cried. It wasn't a long cry but I shed the tears I had been holding in since Monday. Okay so flat out chemo is REAL! Between the nausea, and pure exhaustion chemo has had me done! Everyday I come home I pick between the two couches or the recliner which every knows is my dad's chair, and I am pretty sure the only reason I'm allowed is because I just had chemo earlier in the day.

Anyway my tears were quiet and they almost silently rolled down my face. In my heart I wanted to know if God was even paying attention to my little baby tears in the shower, and sure enough my answer came that evening when my mom arrived home. A young woman she works with sent a gift for me. This lady was the answer that God was sending to me telling me stop tripping, he knows it's tough, and that he didn't forget about me. Quick background on the woman her and her husband are out here living the best way they can, like any other young couple they have to work for everything they have, and they have to work hard. The words she told my mom were that she didn't have much but this small round box was given to her, and it helped her get through during her time at Howard University. The small wooden box contained scriptures, small scriptures rolled up and in true form God led my hand to pluck Isaiah 30:19 He will be very gracious unto thee at the voice of thy cry; when he hears it, he will answer thee. Wow! God is stirring up something serious for me folks.

Hands down the best gift anyone has ever given me, it moved my spirit in such a way that instantly gave me hope. Oh but God, don't you all just love how he drops by and does things like that in life. The stress of chemo has already started to become very irritating to me. I think i'm irritated because its a very tedious process. I can't get certain drugs together, I need my nausea medicine, the fluids make me pee, you all should be able to see how this would get old quickly however I'm determined to end my first week of chemo in high spirits. who know's maybe i'll even catch a movie after chemo or go to the mall...LOL! Yeah probable not but a girl can dream right.

Until my next post I want to throw a quick shout out to everyone who has sent me a text, said a prayer, or kept me in their thoughts. You are truly a saint and I thank you from the bottom of my heart, you have NO IDEA how much it means when someone tells me I'm thinking of and praying for you. So thank you, thank you, thank you everyone. Be blessed and until next time...

XOXO,
Marecya

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